“Hello Country
Bumpkin,” which miraculously made it to #1 on the country music charts in 1974
. . . and which tops my list of baa-a-d country songs! Here’s a sample of the
lyrics for those of you fortunate enough to miss it:
He
walked into the bar and placed his lanky frame upon a tall bar stool
and
with a long soft southern drawl he said I’ll take a glass of anything
that’s
cool
A
bar-room girl with wise and knowing eyes slowly looked him up and down
And
she thought I wonder how on earth this country bumpkin found his way
to
town
She
said “Hello, Country Bumpkin. How’s the frost out on the pumpkin?
I’ve
seen some sights but man you’re somethin’
Where’d
you come from country bumpkin?
Questions:
Is
there another word in any language that rhymes with “bumpkin” and “pumpkin”? Oh
yeah, I forgot—there’s “somethin’”!
How
often have you heard someone step up to the bar and order “anything that’s cool”?
(Wouldn’t it be funny if the bartender brought him a mug of Freon ®?)
Could
the fact that “cool” happens to rhyme with “stool” explain this line?
And then, on the opposite side of the country music spectrum
(and it’s a wide, wide one, folks), there’s . . . Hank.
“No matter how you struggle and
strive, you’ll never get out of this world alive.”
So, tell me. What tops your bad song list?
So, tell me. What tops your bad song list?
